Mr. Right?

 

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Are you one of those women in church waiting on Mr. Right and refusing to budge from your "standards".  Now I am not against standards, but when those "standards" do not make much sense then it might be time for a little chat.   There are those women in church who are already married and even though their spouse do not have half the qualities that they are telling you to look for; they still try to shove this on the single sisters.  At least on the ones who care to listen to what they have to say.  So you find that sisters place undue stress on themselves trying to find someone to fit a mold that is completely unattainable for the most part.

Let me start with the a list of things that I hear women say all the time that makes me want to just shake them and ask them where in the Bible is this written.  Now don't get me wrong you know....to each his own, but the thing is if you have unreasonable, unrealistic expectations of your future husband then you have already lost the battle.   If you feel like you have to have all that is on your list then do not complain that you cannot find anyone.  Stay with your list and wait for that person to show up without complaining.

Anyway as I was saying, here are a few of the things that I hear Christian women ask for in their future husbands......and yes they want ALL of these qualities or else:

1. Must be older 
2. Must be more spiritual
3. Must earn more 
4. Must have a university degree

Let me kind of set the record straight here.  Mr Right can be a lot of things that you did not think about and I want to just share a few things here.  Mr. Right can be:

1. Younger 
2. Be less or equally spiritual
3. Earn less than you
4. Be less educated

Now please do not jump around me, nor start marking X on my forehead.   Moving right along!  Let me say that I have seen many women toss aside a great Christian man, who would make her happy just because he is younger.  Let me hasten to say if this is something that makes you uncomfortable then it is best to stay away from younger men because in order for this to work, both parties have to be comfortable with the idea and not be overly concerned about what people are going to say.  Incidentally that is the main reason that women give why they cannot marry someone who is younger than they are. I would think that the only person we should be overly concerned about when selecting a life partner is God.  God's opinion is the only outside opinion that matters and from God okay with it then everybody else' opinion is null and void.   Can I get an amen!

Oooooooooooh Jesus....yes I said it your future husband can be less or equally spiritual.   Oh boy, I am going to get my armour and return......hahahahahaahhahahaahahahahaaha.....Okay I am back!  So as I was saying and I ask the question many times and have still not gotten a satisfactory answer.  Is it okay for the man to ask that his future wife be more spiritual than he is or equally spiritual?   Why is it that the man has to be more spiritual than the woman or I cannot marry you?   Is it necessary for the man to be more spiritual in order for the marriage to work?   We step into dangerous waters when we add undue stress to people who are already stressed over being single. What we find when we do this is men pretending to be "spiritual" and women falling for it and I don't need to tell you what a disaster this can be. 

Yes your husband can earn less than you! It is not in the bible that he should earn more than you so stop letting this story lead you around like a donkey.   Sometimes we come up with some things that make me want to just simply burst into laughter.  If the two of you have become one then why can't you pool the resources without worrying about who makes what and work together?   I think there would be a lot less stress all around.   Where did we get these ideas from in the first place?  Who came up with these so called rules that should govern how we select our spouse?  How has this been working for the church all these years.

Why is it that so many women insist that their future husbands have a degree? as if having a degree automatically means that you have common sense or know how to treat a woman.  Lord help me today!  Each time I hear it, my spirit groans within me.  The fact that I have a degree or two does not mean my future husband must also have one?  I have seen many men with degrees who do not know how to treat a woman so be careful that you don't get the degree and nothing else...after all is degree you ask for and is degree you get...so easy!  Remember also that having a degree does not mean this person will be earning a lot of money as many believe.

Instead of focusing on those things when seeking a spouse why not seek for someone who loves God; who loves and respects you.  Some of these men without all of the above would take such good care of you; you would feel like a queen.  Some of these men are so glad to have you in their lives that no matter how many other are women in the room; you feel like you are the only one because he gives you his undivided attention.  When you find that person who makes you stop what you are doing to think about him then talk to God about the next move and get his advice.  Stop listening to a bunch of people who have come up with unrealistic expectations that put undue stress on you and your future husband.   I hope I have given you some food for thought!